I had an interesting discussion with a group of women,(most of them claimed to be more liberal than others) anyway, we discussed and touched on several topics but the highlight of that meeting was struck when I asked(rather innocently🌚), ‘if they would share House chores with their partners.
Surely the more liberal (modern or millennial if you may), jumped to the defense of women empowerment and changing the home dynamics on whether a man should help around in the house. To be exact! 50%-50% shared House-work was the ideal standard for these women.
They went on to say that you have to know the kind of man you are married to and even ‘groom’ him to fit your requirements.
- if you are a wise woman, then you’ll know how to put him under a leash to do what you want.
- If I work to put food on the table and work same schedules as he then you best believe he will do the exact same amount of house-chores as I.
- This is the 21st century, you can’t expect me to run around the house all day all so he can only put money for food on the table.
- And so many other points were flying across the room……
I tried not to offer my thoughts/comments on what was being said since I have never been married or lived with a man I considered a partner.
However, there were a couple of women I noticed couldn’t chime in with the others as they were not quiet on the fact that they won’t have it any other way than an equally shared house-errands with their male partners.
So naturally I asked if they’d like to say add to what the other women were saying or they simply agreed with this train of thoughts.
A middle-aged woman who was sitting right in front of me motioned with her hands to talk, then she proceeded to stand up before the room was quiet enough for her to say her peace!
Although the expression on her face showed a strong conviction that the not-so-conservative women were wrong(or from an entirely different planet cos of the look she gave them whilst stating her point).
”I will use my home as an example…” she began.
I do everything house-wise.(from chores to taking care of my family’s every domestic needs)
My husband is the head of my household and I don’t expect him to lift a finger when it comes to helping around. This is not to say that he doesn’t help out but only when he wants to. I simply can’t fathom the idea of conditioning a man (my husband) to run errands at home. My culture goes against that and the reason you millennials think this ideology is okay, is because you have lost every touch with traditional values. She continued to give an example of how her husband can never lift a finger to do any house chores in the presence of her mother-in-law( her husband’s mother.
Haha! Groom your husband you say? She continued! Now I find that very funny and out of place but then again you won’t understand what tradition is. With that point, she sat back down.
Phew! The other women quickly formed mini groups and whispered amongst themselves. I suspect that they were shooting counter-points to what the middle aged lady just said.
I still didn’t offer my thoughts on the issue and took a rather neutral stand as the question was asked by me. I don’t know if there is a manual as to how these things should be but I believe there are a lot of factors involved.
From the person you are to the person you are stuck with to where you are from to how exhausted you are to if you can afford a paid help to how your family structure and dynamics are set up!
Let me know your thoughts on this.
Especially from males! Would you mind a 50%-50% share of House-chores with your partner.